Regardless of the circumstances around how an unplanned pregnancy occurred, it does not make the revelation of an unplanned pregnancy any less distressing. What may be a time of joy and excitement for some even if unplanned, can be incredibly scary and heartbreaking for others. They may not be in a place in their life to care for a child, may not have planned on having children, or the pregnancy may even be a result of a sexual assault. While some unplanned pregnancies may feel like a blessing, there are many other reasons an unplanned pregnancy may not be a welcome one or cause a fearful and anxious reaction.
When thinking through your unplanned pregnancy options, it is important to first take a deep breath and sleep on your options. While time is pressing and you will have to make a decision, it is better not to make it a rash decision. Talk through your options with those whom you trust and also those who have been through what you are going through.
Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options
If you are considering parenting, the main concern would be to make sure that you are able to provide for your child a safe, secure, and loving environment. Children do not need the world. Many studies have shown children with less “stuff” (toys, tv, etc.) and more one on one time with their parents thrive intellectually! You simply need room for them in a secure and safe home and the ability to supply their basic needs. If you have a support system and/or family around, that is invaluable, but not essential. If you are able, it is good to try to connect to any support system you may be able to find in your area such as local mom’s groups, churches, the YMCA, etc.
If you are considering adoption, the first step is to contact a local adoption agency. Contacting an agency is not committing to placement, but simply allowing you to gather some information. An adoption agency should be supportive of you and not place undue pressure. If you feel any uneasiness, there are typically many options to speak with alternate agencies. If you decide that placement may be the best option, the next step would be to decide what kind of adoption you hope for. What kind of upbringing do you imagine your child to have? What type of parents? Do you want an open adoption? What would be your hope for visits if at all? The agency should lead you through these options and give you an opportunity to be a part of choosing adoptive parents for your child. Open adoption is much more popular and may give you opportunity to be a regular part of your child’s life.
A third option you may consider is either living with or placing your child with a family member while you prepare yourself to parent in the future. You may also choose to let a family member adopt your child to allow for more regular contact or simply peace of mind. If you have this option, it can be both beneficial to you and your child to maintain your relationship and that sense of familial connection.
Regardless of what you decide, know that the decision is ultimately yours and (if applicable) your partner’s. The internet is an invaluable tool to seek out advice, anecdotes, option and support. Visit credible sites such as Adoption.com for adoption support and search for local parenting groups such as MOPS if you choose to parent. Take your time, step back from the situation to view it from all sides, and seek out those whom you trust for wise counsel. Remember there are alternatives to abortion with your crisis pregnancy.
